Some Thoughts Before I Go

by John Christian

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about

This album represents my departure from a life I knew for over 2 decades. From this point forward everything I knew to be true was no longer valid. In 2004 I had to re0invent myself. But before I moved on I had some thoughts before I go.

credits

released April 1, 2004

John Christian - guitar, balalaika, accordion, harmonica, piano, dizi flute, bass, vocals.
Gary Keller - drums.
Steve Brown - bass on Whispered Dreams.
Andrew St. George - technical adviser.
Dan Kovacic - assistant engineer

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about

John Christian Windsor, Nova Scotia

Music producer and arranger.

Composer

Performer.

Anarchist

Atheist

Activist

Author
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Track Name: Light Sweet Magic Feather Touch
If both my tired eyes could see
Then there would be time to wake
And for those who hear my words
Would it cause their hearts to quake?
If you close your eyes like me
And describe all that you see
Light Sweet Magic Feather Touch
That’s what we crave so much….

I would be holding back the truth
If I said I did not see
This blackened storm is brewing now
But one day I will be free
If you close your eyes in hope
That it will not pass you by
Light Sweet Magic Feather Touch
That’s what we crave so much….

These burning eyes; turn them away
They are tortured and abused
I remember all so well
Though it’s clouded and confused
If you open up your eyes
You will find you’re going blind
Light Sweet Magic Feather Touch
That’s what we crave so much….
Track Name: Across The Road
Across the road, across the road,
I got to find another set of clothes,
One that fits my simple ways.
And so that’s how this story goes.

Take me now for what I am,
Sometimes beaten down but I still stand.
The law is always knockin’ on my door. Tell me
What are they comin’ ‘round here for?

I walked the dog, sat on the grass,
so now the whole world can go and kiss my ass
I play my music all night long.
Why don’t you sing along?

La la la….. Di di di ….. It makes no difference to me

It ain’t over, it ain’t the end,
We’ve become even better than friends,
Raise yourself up and don’t be so down,
Remember friend – keep your feet on the ground.

This is my song, this is why,
I’ll give it all until the day that I die,
a smile is worth a million chips of gold. Stand back!
Now I’m growing old.
Track Name: I Know I'm Not The Only One
And you can change the world into anything you want
…and you don’t
Just don’t lose your mind when you’re staring really hard
…oh so hard
I can’t be breathing in all this foreign air
Or I’ll end up as a pawn
Connected to the imaginings of men
I know I’m not the only one

All at once I let the mirror slip away
…without fear
All at once I knew it was the longest day
…of the year
It’ll take a long time for me to talk to you
For that which I hold tight is gone
This shattered glass: I am a splintered man
I know I’m not the only one

What face compels you to soar I do not know the words
…but you do
What lights your way to the still and wonder of your smile
…is it real
For if the sky is clear and the flowers are in bloom
The heat they get is from the sun
But the first sign of frost will curl and dry the leaves
I know I’m not the only one

And you can change your life into anything you want
…and you won’t
Just don’t lose the time when you’re staring really hard
…oh so hard
You can’t be breathing in all this foreign air
Or you’ll end up as a pawn
Connected to the imaginings of men
I know I’m not the only one
Track Name: Crazy
I’m gonna go crazy someday
Just to see what it is like
I’m gonna buy a red balloon
And ride a yellow bike
I’m gonna stay awake forever
Just so I’ll go insane
I’m gonna write a twisted letter
And forget to sign my name
I’m gonna spin around in circles
Until I fall down
I’m gonna start a scandal
And shout it all over town
I’m gonna dye my head orange
Just to know that it is there
I’m gonna talk you down to nothing
And see if you still care
I’m gonna tell the world I’m not alone
Just to disavow
I’m gonna strip my soul of all its worth
To see who’s laughing now
Track Name: The Wound Of Time
A little further on,
A little more to come.
More to see, more to know,
more for those in need to go.
Come to tend the soul,
Come to heal the wound,
Heal the wound of time,
Time that’s never mine.

As we are in time,
Time is what we know to be,
Time is then, time is now,
All is what the soul is not.
Now we come to rest,
Rest of soul, rest of peace,
Peace of mind at last.
Peace that wipes away the past.

Through in time we ride
Cooling on the side of free
Breathing in and out in time
Find the center of the mind
Impermanent this time
This we realize but still we
Hang on for the time to lead us
No time to make it mine. No.

I believe there comes a rest
A slowing down in spite of all
Time is now compressed
Peace is what it’s made to be
Keeping centered will
Carefully though ruthlessly
Time and peace collide
In the end peace prevails.
Track Name: Ladder Of My Own
What to do when you’re broke and blue
The sunshine’s not breaking through
And all the wealth that you thought you made
Will not help to make you whole

What to say when you look away
From the three and you don’t pray
The water’s cold and you ain’t as bold
So you shiver quake and cry

I need a ladder of my own
Not one that has been used before
And with that ladder of my own
I’ll climb the hill and I’ll be gone

Where to go when I dig my hole
To crawl into the dreams I hold
Like a gopher I’m search for
Something that I can chew

Where to hide no one can trace
I’ll dig myself out of this place
That’s the time I realize
That I am getting old

The money’s gone and the rent is due
The water’s cold but I ain’t through
The sun will come and shine on me
And I will live again

The day is now; no alibi
It should come as no surprise
I’ve broken through the clouds and I find
That it’s a bright new sunny day

I’ve got a ladder of my own
Not one that has been used before
And with this ladder of my own
I’ll climb the hill and I’ll be gone

You’ll need a ladder of your own
Not one that has been used before
And with that ladder of your own
You’ll climb the hill and you’ll be gone
Track Name: From All Sides
You cannot face too many feelings that you bear
From all sides your reaching hands and sprawling hair
And the sad sigh away through the pain of the day
Exploding into emptiness and decay


You cannot face too many feelings that are trim
From all sides in the lake you learn to swim
Now the feeding starts here; the dreams of the lair
The situation calls for all to stand clear

You cannot face too many feelings unaware
From all sides rows of tailored silvered nails
This forgotten sound I sit cross-legged on the ground
Sense the features of the pattern I found

Clouds wearing oak; flowing tied to dull despair
From all sides a small child cries and melts away
The hour draws near the youthful self is not here
Forced the mind-coloured sound in my ear

You cannot face too many feelings that you bear
Track Name: Come To Me
A thousand angry bombs they fall
Upon a thousand foreign shores
A thousand bunkered generals plot
The gravestones of a thousand more

Come to me my darling one
We'll build our castle in the sun
By the shade of the maple tree
I know one day that you will come to me

One hundred men do barely sleep
They march through paddies six feet deep
An unknown schedule to keep
As death claims all around their feet

Come to me my lovely one
Leave not what's been left undone
By the willows near the sea
That day is soon that you will come to me

Ten soldiers walk a jungle track
One hundred pounds upon their back
Their eyes show more than they can tell
They lived their lives on earth in hell

Come to me my only one
The time is near; it has begun
By the way you look at me
You're telling that you will come to me

O lonely mother cries in vain
Another soul expires in pain
A single soldier cries to sleep
And prays the Lord his soul to keep

Come to me my lonely one
And we'll find pleasure in the sunday
By this winding road we'll see
One day you will come to me

Come to me my darling one
We'll build our castle in the sun
By the shade of that maple tree
I know one day that you will come to me
Track Name: Some Thoughts Before I Go
I sense you looking in here
Although I’ve not the eyes
To try to see your colour
Your cut of dress or size
I do not like religion
Nor attempts to have it show
Your favourite things envelope me
Some thoughts before I go

I’m at a disadvantage
Although it is my choice
You’ve glimpsed what makes my person
And heard my inner voice
Laid bare for your inspection
Myself I offer so
With a deep comprehension
Some thoughts before I go

I did this all in hoping
That you might leave behind
A couple of your daily cares
And eased your daily grind
If by chance you hear about
The one that makes us glow
I hope you tell a friend of yours
Some thoughts before I go

For simple things of gentleness
Can bridge so many miles
Are really all it takes
To reap rewards of smiles
For if a single tender thought
Should I chance to go
To smooth a furrow brow
Some thoughts before I go

If what I’ve shared by some chance
Ease a burdened mind
Or random acts of kindness
Soothe a worry left behind
Then my day is better for
The things that I have known
Kinder hearts are all around
Some thoughts before I go
Track Name: Like A Dying Sun
I fear and hope – I burn and freeze likewise
I fly above the wind yet cannot rise
There’s nothing I have that the world can take from
I’m free yet locked inside this prison

The night has a thousand eyes
Yet the light of the whole world shines
Like a dying sun

I wish to perish yet I ask for health
I love another yet I hate myself
I feed in sorrow; I laugh at my pains
Without eyes I see without tongue I claim

The mind has a thousand eyes
Yet the light of the whole life shines
Like a dying sun

I cannot be held yet I escape no wise
It lets me not live or face my demise
And my delight is the cause of my grief
I climb yet I fall while I cling to a leaf

The night has a thousand eyes
Yet the light of the whole world shines
Like a dying sun
Track Name: Oh Mercy Me
Oh mercy me, I’ve been here so long that I know longer see
The crude indifference that people often live
While trying to show that they are good

Oh mercy me, what will it take for us to get ourselves to be
Together harmonizing; instead familiar noises
Would we not much prefer to love

And when I get out of bed I hear a noise in my head
And if I step out of line there’s a place that I find
It’s a warm happy place; it puts a smile on my face
And I can take you there too; forever I will be true
As long as I think of you

Oh mercy me, I wish that I could find a means to set you free
But as you surely know it is not up to me
Or you to find out what we are
Oh mercy me, why does it take so long to find a way to be
When will the answer come; I know we need it bad
But it still eludes us all the same

Oh mercy me, It’s almost over and still we’ve more to see
Get out your pail and shovel; we’ll dig for gold
Oh mercy me, we are not perfect but we expect to be
A strange position; if we stay inside
We might not ever have to go away

And when I get out of bed I hear a noise in my head
And if I step out of line there’s a place that I find
It’s a warm happy place; it puts a smile on my face
And I can take you there too; forever I will be true
As long as I think of you
Track Name: Hindsight
Hindsight; it don’t bite
Take another taste and you’ll be in delight
Go down and build a wall of stone
It shouldn’t really matter that you’re all alone
See it there crawling everywhere
You can climb a mountain only if you care
C’mon hold up that wine
Don’t leave it ‘till tomorrow
You don’t have the time

Right there in the heart of all
Everybody sees you cry and call
Future ahead so tall
Hindsight prevents the fall

Hindsight; it won’t cry
No matter what you think, no matter how you try
It lines up with history in context for all to see
If you believe al that you’re told
Don’t be surprised when you grow old
There are no boundaries here
Yet people see them everywhere

Right there in the heart of all
Everybody sees you cry and call
Future ahead so tall
Hindsight prevents the fall

Hindsight; it don’t lie
Compare it to the truth and you will see it fly
One dose of its energy will no doubt bring your mind to see
These days there are many who deceive
Never lose sight of what you believe
Hindsight is there to guide
So trust not your changing pride

Right there in the heart of all
Everybody sees you cry and call
Future ahead so tall
Hindsight prevents the fall
Track Name: Little Did We Know
Little did we know all that was happening
Little did we think about where the path would lead
Little did we see with our blinders on
We could not understand the way to be

Little did we feel; our bodies ached with pain
Little did we realize that what we dreamt we made
Little did we hear that inner voice that sees
Instead we walked into a maze unclear

Little did we think about anything
Little did we understand the rule of give and take
Little did we know all that was happening
Little does it matter now ‘cause little did we know
Track Name: Whispered Dreams
A world of whispered dreams
Planets there for us to see
Glittering sheets of gold pave the sea
Soft grasses; downy smooth
Skies are filled with brilliant hues
This hurried night melting in the dew

A night of whispered dreams
Plastic thoughts for all to spy
Colourful trails of light fill the sky
Still waters; glassy smooth
Streets are packed with clowns that rule
This measured time is drifting with the dew